A Candle In The Night
by I Double Dare You
Summary: Sirius knows that Remus meets prejudice wherever he goes but is only really aware of it when he is confronted by such animosity himself. He learns that defending the ones you love is something meant only for the brave at heart. SBRL Post-Hogwarts.
1. Employee Of The Month

Title: A Candle In The Night

Summary: Sirius knows that Remus meets prejudice wherever he goes but he is only able to fully comprehend the discrimination when he is confronted by such animosity himself. He learns that defending the ones you love is something meant only for the brave at heart. Established SBRL Post-Hogwarts.

Pairing: Sirius/Remus

Rating: T for swearing

Era: Post-Hogwarts, Marauders

Warnings: A touch of angst and maybe a small dose of fluff, however, not enough to induce a rash, vomiting or bowel movements. Take only as directed and if symptoms persist drop me a review and tell me to set out traps for the fluff monsters that attack me whilst I write.

Background Info: I know that Remus is supposed to be unable to get a good job but my vision for this fic just wouldn't go away. So he's a Healer at St Mungo's after he graduates from Hogwarts, but only for a while as about a year after Remus becomes a Healer the Ministry passes a law against non-human creatures being in any position to take care of a human, including jobs such as carers, guardians and Healers. He was only able to gain the job as Healer in the first place as werewolves were volatile and moody and often mistrusting of human wizards and witches, resulting in the injuring of Healers when they attempted to help them. St Mungo's sought out any educated werewolves they could to help treat the werewolves in the hospital so the other Healers wouldn't have to deal with them.

Notes: A non-M story :O Le-gasp! How can zis be? There will be two chapters and sadly no smut D:

Enjoy!

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**A Candle In The Night**

"_I can live with myself if you hate me for protecting you. But I could never live with myself if I didn't speak out to protect you. It was never about me...It was only to protect you." _

- Patty Rase Hopson

"Black, see me in my office".

Sirius scowled down at the parchment in front of him. He had three feet of paperwork left to look over and sign on the Beauford arrest and only ten minutes to do it in, and his boss wanted to talk to him _now_? Slimy git. It couldn't have even been that urgent. He'd been a good boy (as good as he was ever going to get anyway) for the past few days; he hadn't unlawfully maimed any Death Eaters when given orders to leave them unharmed, he hadn't tracked down and confronted Death Eaters out of work hours (barring his work for the Order, of course), and he hadn't even added Uncontrollable Flatulence potion (special rotten eggs edition!) to Haggerty's coffee. Therefore, there was no reason for him to be called into his boss, Neil McMahon's, office at all. It wasn't as if he'd ever be given _praise_ or anything, even though he and James were vying for the most amount of Dark Lord supporters apprehended in their unit. No, McMahon was too much of a conceited little turd with a massive grudge to ever acknowledge that Sirius was one of the best Aurors the Ministry currently had.

Sighing, he left his quill and parchment at his desk, thinking that he'd have to work a little overtime tonight, which was rather disappointing as today was one of the few days where both his and Remus' work shifts ran concurrently, allowing them to get home at the same time. He'd actually been hoping to spend a little time with him without falling asleep from exhaustion or one of them having to rush away to work or the Order.

He kicked a few empty chairs (well, one had Haggerty in it but he didn't count) on his way to McMahon's office, the stormy expression on his face meaning that the rest of the Aurors instinctively skirted around him. The exception was James, who leaned back in his chair and sympathetically patted Sirius on the shoulder as he passed, saying, "You're still a Gryffindor, mate. Don't let him treat you like shit".

Sirius grumbled his inaudible reply and walked on towards the door at the far end of the Department with the smarmy little letters of, '_Head Auror: Neil McMahon_', stuck to the door. Gritting his teeth, Sirius briefly knocked and entered, barely bothering to hear McMahon's reedy voice call, "Enter", before he pushed open the door.

He stalked into the room, his haughty pureblood mask of indifference firmly fixed on his face as he took in the familiar scene with a slight air of distaste.

McMahon was neat. Too neat. Not neat like Remus who needed a bit of control and order in his chaotic, unpredictable life, but the controlling sort of neat that demanded everything have its categorized, assigned place; no black and white, no compromise or understanding, no life showing through the neatly arranged quills and perfectly stacked pile of papers. It was the office of a man who held no regard for other's opinions and believed that his way was the only way. Perhaps it had just been a long day, Sirius thought vaguely as he looked at McMahon with the air of someone who had just been confronted with a particularly ugly fungus and were told that they weren't allowed to harm it.

McMahon sneered at him, holding his hand out to a hard, black chair as he ordered, "Sit".

Sirius clenched his jaw before pulling the seat back roughly and throwing himself into it with a messy carelessness that looked completely out of place in McMahon's obsessively orderly office. McMahon observed him with his cold, blue eyes for a few long moments, apparently trying to make him feel uncomfortable and powerless. It didn't work. Sirius had been subjected to similar treatment by his own father for most of his childhood years and had learned to handle the look with the cool, uncaring mask inherited by all Blacks. Sirius lounged on the uncomfortable chair and placed his ankle over his knee, flicking his hair out of his eyes with an effortless twitch of his neck. McMahon took a second longer and then began speaking in his thin, reedy voice that did not at all suit his strong, firm physique.

"I have called you in here to discuss an urgent matter regarding your conduct outside of work".

Sirius sniffed calmly, focusing on rotating his perched ankle to ease an ache that had settled in on the last Death Eater chase, when he had landed too hard off of his broom. His sighed and returned his attention to McMahon when the man let out a short, sharp, "Black!", to indicate that he was not in the mood to be ignored or treated disrespectfully. That was okay; he didn't have to be in the mood for it, Sirius would treat him that way regardless, as the man had never earned his respect and probably never would. To Sirius, he was weak and cowardly and had only gained his position as Head Auror because his Uncle, who was the Head of the Department of Mysteries, had put in a few good and painfully exaggerated words for him. Sirius knew McMahon wasn't fit to lead the unit and didn't care to disguise his blatant dislike and disrespect for the man.

"Usually, I leave the personal lives of those under my command to themselves", McMahon continued, holding Sirius' bored gaze firmly, "But in this case I have found that it would be neglectful of me, to both the Ministry and to my duty as an Auror, not to get involved".

Sirius felt a coldness settle in his stomach. His personal life? Had McMahon found something out about the Order?

"My concerns are regarding your...partner", McMahon stated with a nastily smug air, perusing the parchment in front of him for a moment before slowly adding, "Mr Lupin".

For the first time, Sirius' mask slipped a little. He let only a touch of his bewilderment and wariness show on his face for a moment before carefully readjusting his features to be cold and unruffled. McMahon, however, had seen his momentary lapse in control and raised his nose as if to say smugly, _"I've got you now"._

"What about him?", Sirius bit out, a tad harsher than he'd meant to.

McMahon leaned back slowly in his chair, cold glee dancing in his eyes.

"Well, you see, Black, the Ministry does not view this sort of matters lightly. Some might even say that they are severely frowned upon".

"What do you mean, 'this sort of matters'?", Sirius sneered, his voice quiet and cold as fear started to settle in his stomach. It seemed that McMahon had finally found one of the few weak spots in his hard, cold mask: _Remus_.

McMahon cocked his head to the side slightly and stated, as if Sirius were rather slow, "Why the matter that he is a werewolf, of course".

Outwardly, Sirius curled his lip angrily and said nothing, but inwardly, his inner Padfoot was snarling and howling to rip that smug look off of that vile man's face. _How dare he_! He had _no right_ to snoop into his business and even less, Remus' business. This had nothing to do with his work, McMahon had no right to stick his oily nose into his personal life. _No fucking right!_

McMahon seemed to take Sirius' furious silence as his own personal victory and continued lightly, "You are quite aware that we, as Aurors, are fighting against You-Know-Who and his supporters and yet here you are, among our ranks and fraternizing with a dark creature, with the enemy. You surely understand how this must must look".

"He's not a dark creature!"

Sirius clenched his fists tightly, instantly regretting his outburst as soon as he had snapped the words at the man sitting across from him. He couldn't afford to show any more weakness to him.

McMahon's eyes glinted at his words but he quickly softened his features into what appeared to be forced pity as he assumed an air of superior wisdom.

"Don't you see, Black? He has already blinded you, brainwashed you to believe that werewolves are capable of being humans, that he is not a creature of dark magic. He is obviously using you to gain knowledge of our secrets and plans to report back to his pack and ultimately to You-Know-Who".

Sirius was trembling with rage, knowing that his face was an expression of hatred and fury but he no longer had the self-control to act otherwise. It was all he could do to keep silent as McMahon continued on, his voice slightly breathless with the pleasure of tormenting someone he despised so much.

"It is not your fault", McMahon's thin voice said with false sweetness, "How were you to know? Werewolves are deviant creatures; you were fooled by his most convincing act of appearing human, his pretense of actually loving you and seducing you with perverse, werewolf sex acts, brainwashing your mind..."

"_Shut up. Just shut up!_"

McMahon smirked, hardly ruffled at all by Sirius' roar.

Sirius felt sick. Sick and furious and full of hate. All those vile things that monster had said about Remus, _his_ Remus. His Remus who was now getting premature flecks of grey in his hair from stress, staying up late every night researching for the Order. Remus who still silently believed he was undeserving of friends, love and safety, and protected those he loved with everything he had and more. Remus who strove to be strong and independent, trying to uphold justice and fairness and was so thoughtful and kind, despite how bitter he deserved to feel. Remus who was torn apart in excruciating pain every month and still somehow found the strength to joke and laugh, standing in allegiance with those who would persecute him, disregarding his own wellbeing because he cared more about the safety of others than his own. Remus who read old, boring books in front of the fire and put up with Sirius' bad moods, teasing jokes and often rash actions and words. The same Remus who had a soft fondness for strong Belgian chocolate and drank tea as if it were his lifeline. Remus who had a special smile and laugh just for him, and who always had a fleeting look of anxiety in his face whenever he told Sirius that he loved him, as if even now, he still feared rejection. Remus who, Sirius knew would unhesitantly give his life to protect him and Remus who he, Sirius, loved with an often frightening intensity and would give his life for with an equal lack of hesitation.

Sirius stood abruptly, his chair toppling and falling to the floor with a loud bang and without realising it, his wand was in his hand.

McMahon's eyes jumped warily from the wand to Sirius' enraged face and even he knew that it would be idiotic to reach for his own wand. Instead, he shrank back into his chair and immediately put his hands up, palms outwards to display his vulnerability. Sirius didn't care. He wanted this man to feel pain, pain and anguish and remorse for what he had said. But apparently McMahon was even stupider than he appeared as he continued, babbling as if he were trying to calm Sirius down.

"You don't know what you're doing. He's already infiltrated your mind, he's controlling you. Listen to me: he's a _monster_, a mindless monster who feels nothing but the craving for blood. He doesn't deserve life and we'll make sure that we see justice done. Just put the wand down and we'll make him pay for what he's done to you".

"I told you to shut up", Sirius snarled, uncaring that his voice was shaking with anger, sparks flying from his wand, "You know nothing. _Nothing_. He is worth more than a thousand of you, you despicable, cowardly piece of shit".

McMahon still didn't move, his wide eyes firmly fixed on Sirius' shaking wand.

"I would kill you, or at least fuck you up pretty bad, but I'm not going to", Sirius stated, raising his chin at the man who looked up at him in surprise, "Oh, believe me, I want to. I hope you die in fucking agony. But Remus wouldn't want me to, he wouldn't want me risking my freedom for a worthless sack of shit like you. Even after everything you've said about him he would still defend your life. He's more of a human than you could ever be".

Sirius slowly leaned forward over the desk so his face was only a few inches from McMahon's, so close that he could smell the sour coffee on his breath.

"You will leave him alone. He hasn't been a threat to you in any way and who I choose to spend my life with is none of your fucking business. He cares about stopping Voldemort as much as I do and if I find you've so much as _looked_ at him I will make you regret it".

Sirius was pleased to find his voice was more controlled now and that McMahon seemed genuinely unsettled. He leaned back, straightened himself and nodded to his boss in a mock display of respect before turning to leave, having had enough of being in the bigoted, idiotic man's presence. However, as he turned he caught a glimpse of McMahon's face changing from wary to vengeful loathing and saw his arm move towards his robe pocket.

Sirius was only just in time to block the powerful curse, deflecting the jet of yellow light to the wall just behind McMahon's head. He reflexively sent a body binding curse back but missed as McMahon had already ducked behind his desk to avoid the shower of rubble crumbling from the wall behind him. On full defensive mode, Sirius tensed as he saw the man's head emerge again from behind his desk and sent another curse to find that McMahon had already sent his own. It turned out that McMahon wasn't completely hopeless as Head Auror after all, Sirius admitted dimly, feeling blood trickle down his cheek from where he'd been just barely been scraped by the powerful cutting curse. He was just about to return the favour, except perhaps with interest, when the door burst open behind him.

"_Stupefy!_"

He hadn't been expecting it and hadn't blocked the stunning spell in time. He fell forward and inwardly flinched as he saw the hard floorboards come rushing up to meet him, probably to break his nose, only to have someone grip his stiff arm and stop him from smacking straight into the floor.

"Merlin, stop, _stop_! It's just Sirius!", he heard James' voice shout.

The strong grip rolled him over so he was lying on his back on the floor, looking up at James' anxious face.

"_Enervate_".

Sirius sat up quickly, gripping his wand tightly and taking reassurance in the small weight of it in his hand. He looked around to see half of the Auror unit crowding at the door to McMahon's office, looking in with shocked, worried faces at the chaos of the room, their wands still half-raised with some pointing at him while others pointing in dumb shock at nowhere in particular.

"Sirius, what happened?", James asked urgently, kneeling by his side, his earnest brown eyes quickly taking in Sirius' cut cheek, dishevelled hair and murderous expression.

Sirius made to answer, not actually knowing exactly what he was going to say, when someone shouted over him.

"That little _bastard_ attacked me!"

Heads swivelled to follow the enraged voice coming from behind the desk. McMahon slowly got to his feet, pointing a thick finger at Sirius sitting on the floor. His eyes were bulging with fury, his teeth gnashing together and his reedy voice had a harsh edge to it that set Sirius' nerves on edge and made him grip his wand tighter. He heard the answering murmurs of the Aurors and stiffened as he saw the faces turn to him and half-raised wands lift and turn to point directly at him again. He felt James also stiffen, but the hand on his arm did not pull away and he felt the man shift forward just slightly as if he meant to shield him. Relieved that his oldest and closest friend would at least stick with him, Sirius glared back at McMahon, bellowing back at him, "_You_ attacked _me!_ You didn't even have the courage to attack before my back was turned! My wand wasn't even raised and you fucking cursed me when I had my back to you, you bloody coward!"

McMahon seemed to swell, his face going beet red and eyes glinting dangerously.

"It's just as well I did! You were going back to your disgusting little beast to tell him everything! You were putting all of our lives in danger to go home and fuck around with a filthy little half-blood _freak_!

The Auror's faces swivelled back and forth to Sirius and McMahon but Sirius didn't see them. The only thing he saw was red. Roaring, he made to charge at his boss, magic forgotten as he sought to beat the man to a pulp with his bare hands. Fortunately for McMahon, James pushed Sirius back down with a sudden display of strength, his grip tightening on Sirius' arm painfully and his eyes narrowing dangerously as they fixed on McMahon's face.

"With all due respect, _sir_", James said coldly, the sarcasm in his voice clear even over Sirius' swearing and snarls, "Remus is none of those".

Sirius stopped fighting against him, pleased that his friend at least felt the same sort of anger towards their boss for how he spoke about one of their mutual best friends. James was fiercely loyal, much like Sirius, and would not take such degrading insults to one of his friends lying down.

"Don't be stupid, Potter", McMahon sneered, obviously underestimating both James and Sirius, "You and I both know what kind of _filth_ that he consorts with. Werewolves are primitive creatures. Their only purposes are to kill, fight, destroy, mate and turn the wizarding world into the same despicable monsters that they are. They're purely animals in human skin. And Black has been committing bestiality with one of them".

Sirius felt himself baring his teeth, much like Padfoot would, and tried to shove James out of the way so he could leap at McMahon. James continued to firmly hold him down but the look of shock and loathing on his face indicated that it was probably purely instinct to stop Sirius from killing someone.

For the first time, Sirius became aware of the rest of the Aurors murmuring at the door, the looks of unease, shock and disgust being aimed at him making it quite clear to what they thought of McMahon's claims. Sirius had always known how the wizarding world regarded werewolves and only at Remus' insistence had made a conscious effort to keep Remus' lycanthropy a secret from his colleagues, as the werewolf had told him that he didn't want to be responsible for the prejudice Sirius would face. But for the first time, Sirius actually saw what Remus had been talking about. Many of these Aurors had become his friends and he believed most of them to be good, strong people. But the way they now looked at him and shrank back from him as if he had a disgusting, contagious disease made him feel lost and lonely but most of all, _angry_.

Angry that the wizarding world was so blind that they condemned suffering, frightened people for something they couldn't help, for a vicious injustice that was done to them. Angry that it was Remus, _his_ Remus, that they treated so cruelly and thoughtlessly. Angry that none could see Remus for the wonder that he truly was.

As far as he was concerned, they could all go to hell.

Sirius stood abruptly, pulling a surprised James up with him. Remus was worth more than this, more than any of them.

He flicked his wand and ignored the tensing of wand arms, snatching the rolled parchment that he had transfigured from thin air. He strolled over to McMahon's desk, feeling a small spark of amusement at the man's flinch when Sirius threw the parchment down onto his desk.

"My letter of resignation", Sirius explained calmly, ignoring the slight intakes of breath behind him, "I refuse to be associated with monsters like you who judge and condemn people without knowing anything about them. You're no better than Death Eaters. You mindlessly follow what someone tells you, even if it means killing and hurting people just because you're scared of them and don't understand them, because of something they can't help. I'll fight for what I believe is right in my own way and I'll have a hell of a lot more success than you; I'll actually make a difference".

Silence followed his words and he glared coldly at McMahon, daring him to contradict or mock him. Before McMahon could respond, however, an identical, neatly rolled up parchment joined Sirius' on the desk, drawing everyone's eyes to it.

"I also resign", James stated evenly, standing beside Sirius, "For the same reasons as Sirius has stated but I would like to also add that you prejudice bastards can stick your idiotic opinions so far up your arse that you choke on them".

Sirius looked at him, grinning from ear to ear. He shouldn't have been surprised, really; James was a loyal friend first and foremost and they did everything together, including quitting their jobs it seemed.

"I second that motion, James. Shall we leave them to it then?", he offered politely, to which James grinned back at him and nodded. They turned to leave and for the second time that day, Sirius saw McMahon's face twist into a sneer and his hand twitch towards his wand.

_Not this time, you don't_.

Disregarding magic completely, Sirius turned back, leaned over the desk lightning quick, and punched the cowardly bastard right across his left cheek.

He heard shouts and gasps from the Aurors behind himself and his knuckles ached something fierce, but he didn't care because that had felt bloody _good_. He smirked as McMahon stumbled backwards against the cracked wall, hand flying up to hold his cheek as his look of shock turned to boiling hatred and rage.

James seemed to admire the quickly reddening mark on their former boss' face before chuckling and nodding his head towards the door.

"Come on, Padfoot. I don't think you're helping your chances of getting employee of the month".

Sirius barked a laugh of agreement, striding towards the door with James. Most of the Aurors still had their wands firmly trained on him but none had used them when he had punched McMahon. He vaguely wondered if they weren't all as prejudiced as he'd thought but found he didn't quite care. They parted to let he and James through, their tense, wary silence making him laugh inwardly. It seemed that they feared both him and James enough to not willingly fight them; turned out that they weren't completely stupid after all.

It was with a new determination and a colder, harder view of the world that he and James stepped out of the Ministry fifteen minutes later, small boxes filled with their belongings floating behind them. They both looked with their newly cynical view at the strange contrast of cheerful, warm sunshine and the grey, worried faces of witches and wizards alike as they all raced to win this war together and yet were hopelessly divided and alone.

OOOOOOOO

_Will hopefully upload next and last chapter soon. This fic is really nothing great but it's just a little snapshot of what life was like for these two, I think. Any and all thoughts are welcome. Reviews will encourage me to get the next chapter finished doubly quick ;) Pretty please?_


	2. A Cage Is Needed To Know Freedom

Gah, you're all too kind! My readers are too indescribably awesome for words! I must warn you all though that this is the last chapter and it's pretty anti-climatic. I think maybe some of you were expecting confrontation and all that, and now that I think about it that would be a better idea, but I've had this idea for this story in my head for so long that I can't bear not to write it the way I've envisioned it. So my humblest apologies and gratitude to those who take the time to read this chapter. I appreciate you all more than you'll ever know. :)

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**Chapter 2: A Cage Is Needed To Know Freedom**

"_The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out."___

_~ Different Seasons – Stephen King_

Sirius arrived back at his flat to find it empty.

No Remus. Not even the faint smell of his favourite tea that always wafted through their tiny flat when he was home. Usually, Sirius would have assumed that he was simply busy and hadn't come home yet, but after everything that McMahon had said, Sirius couldn't help but feel uneasy. He stood frozen in the doorway of their flat for a few moments after calling for Remus and hearing no answer. Fighting down the panic rising from deep in his gut, he left the flat and apparated to St Mungo's, where Remus worked as an intern Healer. He'd arrived by the wizarding entrance so it was crowded and he had to push past a few people in his haste, eliciting many grumbles and what sounded like a disgruntled bark from one unfortunate, misshapen man.

The Hospital was big – huge, in fact – and he knew that he couldn't find one particular Healer by himself, so he rushed to the front desk, behind which sat a young, pretty witch with the name 'Marlene' on her name tag. She looked up as Sirius approached, giving him the once-over as she obviously noted his good looks, almost unconsciously rearranging her shoulders to make her breasts more noticeable. Sirius ignored the action completely.

"I need to see Healer Remus Lupin", he said urgently, not bothering with niceties.

The woman called Marlene looked slightly put out by his obvious lack of interest in her but she still batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly as she replied, "I'll need your name and your business with him before I can give you that information, sir".

"Well that's none of your business, is it?" Sirius snapped, not having the patience for this Marlene when scenarios of McMahon hunting Remus down were running through his head, "Just tell me where he is. It's urgent".

Marlene's lips pursed at his rudeness and she quite abruptly stopped flirting.

"Then I'm afraid that this 'urgent business' will have to wait", she replied coolly in what appeared to be her most professional voice, "Please take a seat and wait patiently until Healer Lupin is available to speak with you".

Sirius opened his mouth to say something that would probably have him cursed rather nastily but luckily, someone spoke before he could.

"Sirius? Sirius Black?"

He closed his mouth and turned to see a wizard in blue Healer's robes with intern white trimming approaching him from behind the front desk, a look of pleasant surprise on his somewhat familiar face.

"It's me, Alastor Wrench, Remus' friend".

Sirius did remember him, he'd met him a couple of times when he'd come to see Remus at the Hospital; he and Remus were partnered in their internship and worked together. The man was friendly enough and he had an almost permanent, boyish smile, even when working with difficult patients.

"Are you here to see Remus?", Wrench asked knowingly, absently leaning on the back of Marlene's chair who looked rather annoyed now.

Sirius ignored her and turned his full attention to Wrench, "Where is he? It's urgent".

Wrench nodded agreeably, and pointed down the bench, "He's just down there, finishing some paperwork. Should be done in a minute or two".

Sirius followed where he was pointing and saw, there, right in front of his eyes, Remus at the very end of and behind the long bench, hunched over a long parchment, quill dancing across the paper. He waved a hurried thanks to Wrench who was being subjected to a nasty glare by Marlene, and took off down the long bench. Remus must have been deeply immersed in whatever he was doing as he didn't look up when Sirius approached, pausing only to skip a few inches of parchment and fill in some underlined spaces.

Relief flooded through Sirius as he reached him and he leaned heavily on his elbows on the bench next to Remus in sudden tiredness, the receding adrenalin leaving him weary and exhausted. This got Remus' attention and he glanced up, surprised to see Sirius standing before him.

"Sorry, I meant to get home on time but the last patient took longer than expected", he explained hurriedly. He paused and raised his eyebrow at Sirius slumped, tired posture, wildly messy Auror's robes, ruffled hair and finally, the bloody cut on his cheek.

"Is everything alright? Was it another fight?", he asked gently as he leaned over to inspect the cut.

Sirius flinched, knowing that Remus had meant only another fight with Voldemort supporters but it had brought back the memories of the short duel with his boss. However, he had never really intended to tell Remus about the fight so he only nodded that yes, it had been another fight, and held still while Remus took out his wand and expertly traced it over the cut, muttering a spell under his breath. With the cut professionally healed and cleaned, Remus brushed his thumb over where it used to be as if making sure it had healed properly, but his hand cupped Sirius' face a little longer than necessary and let Sirius know that he had truly concerned him. Sirius leaned into the touch slightly in silent reassurance that he was alright and, reassured, Remus' hand slipped from his face.

They both knew that public affection was dangerous for them. Remus' position as an intern was uncertain at best, because even though St Mungos claimed to be tolerant of werewolves as they needed their help in treating other werewolves, Remus was still treated rather badly. His fellow interns and the fully trained Healers knew nothing of his condition, but his superiors did and made sure that he was aware of what they thought of it. He was always given the worst, most punishing jobs that no other interns would take and was often made to work the longest hours, with the most difficult shifts and inhumane amounts of overtime. His bosses also made sure to always treat him with a condescending, repulsed attitude whenever they had to speak to him, as if he were a particularly stupid and disgusting creature, even though his recent practical and theoretical exam marks were among the highest of the interns.

But Remus endured it all with grace and dignity, Sirius mused as he watched as Remus gave him a tight smile and hastily returned to his paperwork, picking up the pace so Sirius wouldn't be waiting too long.

Sirius knew that Remus was immensely grateful for the job, even though he was treated terribly and it was unlikely that it would last much longer. They were both aware of the steadily increasing fear and hatred the wizarding world felt towards werewolves as the war went on and more of them joined Voldemort's ranks. They had both seen the articles in the Daily Prophet praising the Ministry's consideration of new laws to ban werewolves from working in jobs where they had interaction with humans. They had both seen the steadily worsening way that Remus was treated by his superiors and they both knew that his time at St Mungo's was running short. But it seemed that this only spurred Remus to work even harder, as if he wanted to make the most of the time he had working for the Hospital and as if he wanted to prove himself before he was tossed out. And Sirius knew that if Remus was aware that he had lost his own job, ultimately because of his relationship with him, Remus would never forgive himself. But he also knew that hiding something from him was nearly impossible.

Remus glanced up from beneath his eyelashes at Sirius, trying to discern the expression on Sirius' face as he watched him work. There was something amiss with Sirius today. It was in the way he watched him so intently, eyes roving over his face as if considering him deeply, as if Sirius was trying to commit everything about him to memory. It was unsettling to say the least. But Remus worked on, employing a concentrating expression, quite used to hiding his true feelings, even from Sirius. But Sirius, well Sirius was simply terrible at hiding things from him. His posture, expression and demeanour implied that something terrible had happened, something that he didn't want to him to know about but had shaken the man to his core enough to look at Remus as if he'd never seen him before, as if appreciating everything that he'd never had the mind or time to.

"You do know that you're terrible at hiding things, don't you Sirius?", he stated mildly, as if asking Sirius to pass the ink pot, even as he absently ticked a box on the parchment.

"Yes, you don't let me forget", Sirius admitted, smiling slightly at how well they knew each other.

Remus hummed distractedly, scratching down the details of the treatment he'd given his last patient for what felt like the hundredth time. It gave him time to think of how to approach what Sirius was trying and failing to hide from him.

"Was it a bad day at work?", he asked innocently, still not looking up.

"You could say that, but isn't it always?", Sirius replied evasively, thinking that he was starting to sound like Remus with his careful avoidance.

Then Remus lifted his head and looked Sirius straight in the eye, knowing that he could never refuse him or lie to him when he did so.

"You can talk to me about it, you know. You can tell me anything".

The look Sirius returned was deeply unsettling. It was a kind of tormented expression, as if Sirius was torn between saying something he wanted to say and saying something that he knew Remus wouldn't want to hear. But it seemed that the sincere, searching look that Remus had fixed him with wore him down.

"I had a fight with McMahon today. It got...ugly", Sirius admitted, defeated, unconsciously rubbing his cheek where he'd been cut as he continued, "That's where I got the cut and I'm pretty sure I destroyed half his office wall".

Remus' eyebrows shot up.

"You actually _fought_ with him? And _destroyed his wall_?"

"Half his wall", Sirius corrected with a wry grin, trying not to look at Remus as he knew he could make him feel terrible about it, "But it was his own fault, he was the one who sent that curse in the first place, the mean bastard. I just blocked it and it exploded the wall instead".

He knew he'd said the wrong thing when Remus' face lost some of its colour and he didn't notice that he was dripping ink onto his parchment from where his quill hovered frozen over the paper.

"It wasn't too bad, mind you", he amended quickly, knowing that Remus was fighting the urge to drag him into a Healing room and give him a full check-up, "We only cast a couple of curses before the other Aurors came in and stopped us".

This didn't seem to be the correct response either as Remus dropped the quill and dropped his head to pinch the bridge of his nose as if trying to control an outburst.

"Why did you fight with him?", Remus groaned, his voice slightly muffled, "Why did you let him rile you up like that? I thought Aurors knew better than that".

Sirius knew that Remus was just worrying about him and that's why he'd said it, but the last remark made his already sensitized temper flare.

"Hey, what was I supposed to do?", he snapped back, completely forgetting to think about hiding the details from Remus, "Trust me, I wanted to kill the little shit for what he said about you, but I didn't, I didn't even hex him".

Remus' eyes narrowed but in more of a concerned, worrying way than threatening, and the expression made Sirius realise what he'd revealed.

"What did he say about me?"

Sirius shut his eyes tight and, leaning his elbows on the bench firmly, covered his face with his hands so he wouldn't have to look at the worried expression that ripped at his insides and made his inner Padfoot howl, furious with himself. He hadn't wanted to tell Remus about this, he hadn't wanted to see Remus blaming himself and the worry and guilt in those big, brown eyes. He'd meant to protect Remus from this but, as usual, his temper had gotten the better of him.

"Sirius, what did he say about me?", Remus asked again, firmer and more urgently this time.

Sirius knew that Remus obviously had some idea to what McMahon had said, because he was well aware of Remus' paranoia about people finding out about his lycanthropy. There was no point in trying to hide it from him now and besides, Sirius felt compelled to obey Remus when he used _that_ voice.

He uncovered his face and looked down at the ink splatters on Remus' parchment, determined not to meet his gaze.

"He said that – that the Ministry frowned upon this sort of situation and he – he said some pretty nasty stuff about you and me...So I quit", he improvised lamely, not wanting to tell Remus all the things that McMahon had really said.

Remus was silent, that brooding sort of silent that never boded well for Sirius, and Sirius forced himself to look up at him, wanting him to say something – _anything_. Remus was looking down at his ink-stained hands, tawny hair hanging in front of his eyes and he looked so much smaller than Sirius remembered. The image was so starkly different to the Remus that Sirius knew; the witty, strong Remus that could flick an insult back with only a clever quip, the Remus that didn't let emotions show because he was determined not to let them get the better of him. But this Remus looked so defeated and heartbreakingly vulnerable that Sirius had to look away, hating himself for bringing Remus to this state.

"He knows what I am, then", Remus finally said softly, his voice betraying nothing – almost as if he were trying to block all feeling completely. Sirius didn't answer – there hadn't been a question, just a verbal confirmation of a terrible truth.

"I'm sorry", the guilt in Remus' voice made Sirius look at him sharply, feeling a stab of remorse as Remus lifted his head and the expression tore his heart apart.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry".

"Don't be", Sirius bit out harshly, needing to make Remus believe him, "It wasn't your fault, none of it is your fault. _None_ of this is your fault".

He was barely aware that he had slammed his fists onto the bench in frustration, ignoring the people that gave him reproachful looks and focusing only on his anger, his anger at everything. The way Remus was treated by St Mungo's, by the Ministry, by everyone. Angry at what Remus had been forced to do, who he'd been forced to be, what he'd been forced to feel. And all for something that wasn't his fault. He was sick of it, sick of them all.

He looked directly at Remus to see him staring at him with a strange resignation on his face, as if he'd decided something.

"It _is_ my fault. I didn't mean for it to happen but it's still my fault", he stated calmly, "You had to quit your job because of me, you've had to give up so many things because of me. You don't deserve..."

"Stop it", Sirius snapped, unable to take it when Remus talked about himself like that, "It's not your fault and I choose to give up these things. I chose you over my job because I know you're worth it. It doesn't matter what you or anybody else thinks about that – I know you're worth more than anything else and I don't regret it".

Remus shook his head and looked as if he were going to argue further but a loud, deep voice interrupted them.

"Lupin, what are you doing just standing around chatting? Get some work done!"

Remus' shoulders tensed and his face quickly changed back to polite and pleasant, covering the open emotions that had been displayed only moments before. Kendrick Powell, Remus' superior, strode down from behind the bench, glaring at the side of Remus' head as if he thought he could bore a hole into it. He reached them and, completely ignoring Sirius, peered down at the parchment that Remus had been working on and had accidentally splattered with ink.

"Why is this so messy? And why isn't it finished? I expected you to be done half an hour ago", he said in a quiet, low and dangerous voice, almost into Remus' ear as he hovered over his shoulder, "If you expect to be given special consideration for your disease then think again. Double shift tonight to make up for your absence next Thursday. And not a word of complaint or you can find someone else who will give you a job".

Sirius' lip curled in a snarl and he clenched his fists without realising it, wondering what in Merlin's name was happening today with people making him want to punch them. Remus however, looked straight ahead quite calmly and replied mildly, "Sir, I was promised tonight off".

Powell simply sneered in his ear, "I said _double shift_, Lupin. There are patients waiting and this", he snatched up the parchment and scrunched it up violently, "This will have to be done again due to an unacceptably low standard of work. I expected nothing more from your kind".

While Powell made a show of scrunching the up paper further in sadistic, exaggerated movements, a frown formed on Remus' brow and his eyes flickered to Sirius' face. His eyes took in the murderous expression, the shaking, clenched fists and his gaze slid over and fixed on where the cut had been on his cheek.

"You really believe that I'm worth it?", he asked quietly, eyes holding Sirius' earnestly, searching for truth.

Sirius stared right back and answered firmly without missing a beat, "You're worth it all".

Remus stared at him for another few minutes before jumping at Powell's voice, still dangerously quiet and brimming with anger.

"I said _move it_, Lupin. Or are you deaf as well as daft?"

Remus continued to hold Sirius' gaze for a few more seconds, his face setting as if making a decision before he turned to face Powell directly.

"I'm neither of those, Powell", he stated calmly, holding eye contact effortlessly, "And I will not _move it_. I was promised a night off tonight and I will get it. I deserve it more than anyone".

Powell's jaw visibly clenched as he glared back at Remus, his voice getting lower and quieter as he answered, "Unless you want to be unemployed, you will do as you're told and get to work, _werewolf_".

The last word was spat with such venom that Sirius felt the wild urge to pull Remus back as if he might be harmed by it. Remus didn't even flinch.

"If those are my only options then I think I would rather choose unemployment", Remus replied mildly, sending Sirius a meaningful glance as he said, "At least then I can choose self-respect; this job isn't worth that".

Powell glared at him, his right hand twitching as if longing to reach for his wand. But the moment passed and he simply smirked condescendingly at Remus.

"Self-respect? Animals have no use or need for self-respect. But by all means, Mr Lupin, continue to delude yourself".

"What the hell would you know about self-respect? You self-righteous prick", Sirius snarled, feeling himself tremble with rage "You treat others like shit and think you're all high and mighty when the people you order around are worth ten times more than you".

Powell turned to him, arching an eyebrow in surprise as if he'd only just realised he was there. But before he could give a retort, Remus had already placed a hand on the bench and used the leverage to push himself up and leap over the bench to land gracefully next to Sirius.

"Leave him, Sirius", he said softly, his hand tugging gently on Sirius' arm, "He's not worth it".

At those words, Sirius gave Powell one last glare before turning and storming away with Remus. He'd expected the man to shout after them, hex them or prevent them from leaving, but Powell did none of those things and Sirius did not look back. He followed Remus down the hall and out the front doors to Charmcorner Alley, a wizarding shopping and residential area. The sun had never seemed so bright before, the darkness of their day allowing them to fully appreciate warmth and light. They paused on the steps awhile, drinking in the fresh air and sunlight, unheeding of the hurrying, worried people pushing past them. They hadn't realised that they'd been craving freedom all this time when they hadn't even known that they were trapped.

Smiling the genuine, open smile that he reserved just for Sirius, Remus turned to him, their eyes communicating what words would undoubtedly cheapen. In answer, Sirius silently reached out his hand and they both ignored the disdainful, disapproving looks that they recieved when Remus took it, entwining their fingers together as they set off down the cold, stone steps into a war, together and free.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why is this fic so goddamn long? There isn't even that much in it! :/ Curse me and my inability to be brief and to-the-point when it comes to writing stories. Bah.

If any of you actually managed to make it through all of that anti-climatic writing, then I thank you so, _so much_. Please drop a review! I know my M-rated fics get more attention but I think my smutless stories would like some attention too. :)

My endless thanks to you all for just reading this goddamn thing! Even I was like, "Something fucking HAPPEN already!" XD

Meh.

Smegging drop a smegging smeggy review!

Please. :D


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